This Life Ain’t It

I always wonder “where will I be in 10 years?” When i’m done with schooling, when I own my own house and start my own family. Yes, I have a plan and I know what I want my 10 years from now self doing, but will it really happen? Something i’ll never understand is how life is so unpredictable in its own good and bad ways. I’ve always had an “older” mindset, meaning i’ve always been super mature, I act and dress a bit older than I really am, and I just want to fast forward time and dive right into my future. I always envision myself living a grand life while being a doctor, with a huge house with a private pool and an amazing view to wake up to every morning. But who doesn’t dream of this for their future?

Right now, i’m at this stage in my life where i’m currently living on my own because of college. Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but it does get a little boring at times. These nights I sit in my chair at my desk and think “if only I already graduated from this school.” But, I know, this are the “struggles” I have to go through and it’ll all be worth it in the end. This makes me work even harder in school because I know I just want to keep moving forward with my life….maybe a little too forward. In my mind, the harder I work, the faster time will fly. Going through some struggles in life, meaning events that happen that you never would’ve expected in a negative way, is what gets a lot of people to success. It is mostly the strong willed and minded individuals that don’t back down from the fight. I know what I want and although my plan doesn’t include these smaller obstacles, there’s no perfect plan out there where you can avoid running into some sort of trouble.

This is only the beginning of my college career and so I still have about 3 more years at this school, but I am determined to make it all happen in the end. It’s interesting to think about life in this perspective. That life purposely knocks you down to make you into an even better and stronger person. I wish and dream a lot, but nothing will happen unless I follow my plan and keep moving forward. I wish I could fast forward to my life 10 years from now because in my head, there’s honestly a fantasy going on. I wish I didn’t have to go through so much schooling in order to get a definite well paying job. I wish my whole life was already set up, but unfortunately, life is a huge waiting game for many of us.

Being patient is something I really struggle with and i’ve always been that way. When need things to be done, it gets done right then and there, but waiting and just living life day by day is hard for me. Sometimes I know I need to relax a bit and enjoy more things that’s happening around me. I know I tend to rush things and sometimes I try to force things to go faster, when clearly, it takes time. I’ve thought about maybe taking more classes every quarter just so maybe I could graduate in 3 years instead of 4. But the good part about all of this s that i’m very reasonable and real with myself. Taking more classes while attaining all A’s is definitely not ideal in my situation. I’m going to just have to take my time with things and hope good things will come from it.

I know some may say “life gets harder”. I’ve heard it all, but i’ve thought long and hard about my future self and how “magical” it’ll be. But before I can live my fantasy life, I need to take baby steps and give myself time. I still have my whole life ahead of me and my time that i’m waiting for will eventually come. Taking time for yourself and not rushing things is a huge life lesson and a difficult one for me to learn and fully take in, but one day I will. I won’t try and rush things that I can’t control because I know my day will come. Determination and patience is the key to success.

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